These are lessons that I learned the hard way because they are the most valuable ones and you will probably never remember them if you don’t take the risks and reflect on everything.

Love your neighbor how you want to be treated! This doesn’t mean do unto others as they have done to you. It means think about how you want to be treated, and treat other people with love because that’s what you deserve to feel.

Fight for what you believe in! You need to know what’s worth fighting for, your dignity, your family, love, passion, human rights, and everything good in the world.

Try new things until life has nothing left to offer. You can always repeat the same thing and have a routine you enjoy doing. It will get you through life if you’re genuinely happy, all of your dreams will come true. Don’t forget to try new foods, clothes, makeup, new trips, and new ways to have sex. Anything really. All the way until you die! The best way to go out, is mid-orgasm! Just PLEASE, let it be while skydiving or something else where you’re actually wearing clothes or maybe snuggling your best friend and you take your last breaths together.

When life beats the hell out of you, get up and dust yourself off! You are going to fail far more often than you succeed. Even if you do succeed, that doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing.

It is okay to walk away when you are unhappy. Staying in a situation where you are cutting pieces of yourself away so you can fit into a box someone else designed for you is not going to make YOU HAPPY.

Walk away and start over with nothing and no one if you have to. The people who matter will show up. The ones who never cared will show up when you have money. The ones who have always had your back will be afraid to ask for help when they know you’re suffering.

Check in with your people! Everyone has their people. That means they built a family and they are trying to make a happy life for themselves also.

A lot of people don’t know HOW TO BE HAPPY. This is one of the hardest lessons I learned in my life. I pushed for nearly twenty years before I gave in when a fist went flying towards me and my adult children stepped in. I kept trying, which brings me to the next one…

Forgive yourself for not being something someone else wants you to be and just be yourself! You need to dance to your own music and let the world be okay with your craziness. My oldest son loves to introduce me to his friends. I’m his crazy-ass momma. I love it! I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Enjoy the ride of life! There are going to be so many ups and downs in life, you have to be prepared for it. You will never be able to get through life if you haven’t fought through the trenches of life and really fought for the good stuff.

Take chances! With dating, education, traveling, EVERYTHING! The only way you will ever really love life is if you just do something! If you want to lose weight? Well, put the cookies down, and start moving your body a little more each day. If you feel lonesome, go make some friends!

Everyone needs people! I don’t mean just your parents and the people who you helped raise or watched being raised. I mean that neighbor across the street who listens to different music and goes to a different church.

Sing and dance every day! One of the simplest ways to know if someone is having a good time is if they sing and dance with you.

Love freely! Fight, make up, fight again. It makes life worth living. Especially when you’re in a relationship with someone who wants to discuss why you were fighting to begin with.

Most importantly, be humble, take responsibility for your choices, and be able to explain why you chose to do something in a way that works best for you and the person asking.

I am my family’s biggest failure because I am the one willing to make mistakes and take risks. I don’t regret a single decision I made. Every choice I made has had its pros and cons. I have a 25-year-old child who refuses to have a relationship with me. The reasons are probably because we are both healing at the same time. My baby knows how much I love them. I will always be here.

You cannot be responsible for someone else’s actions. When you are acting in a way that makes another person feel fearful, you should probably think about what they might do in relation to it later.

I am going through a rough phase without access to my babies. They all have their own reasons and I have no idea how to cope without losing my mind to grief. I have open lines of communication with three of the four. The last doesn’t have full access to his own account yet. I am going to work on it this week. My baby is going to have full access to his momma just like the others do. Only one of them knows how to make sure he shares what happy looks like.

I hope he starts showing his dad it’s okay to be happy. I miss my family. Even if the family I have isn’t the one I thought I would have a decade ago.