I found out I can go to India and spend about a month there for around $5,000 per person. I need about $15,000 so I can take my son, have an emergency fund just in case, and make sure my apartment is safe while I am away.

I am currently in subsidized housing with a roach infestation, and I am going through an emergency relocation process because they are trying to say I created this legal problem when I did not. I may have done something against the rules, but I did not create the circumstances that led to this.

When someone is in a trauma response and signs a contract saying they must put someone on the lease if that person spends more than three nights in a row at their apartment, it feels like being told they have to legally commit to someone before they are ready. It feels like being pushed into a relationship structure that can repeat the same abusive cycles people never realized were happening in the first place.

I do not think it is okay for anyone to be forced to give up their autonomy.

Living in filth and trying to stay organized when you are required to tear your home apart every ten days is impossible. I have had many near-death experiences, and I have been triggered and restricted by post-traumatic events since moving into my apartment. I am going to therapy weekly and trying to rebuild myself.

Maybe I am a little insane. But I am also trying to become a decent member of society when I never really had the opportunity to live anywhere except work and with my kids. Now I want to do extracurricular activities, make art, play games, travel, heal, and actually enjoy my life.

If people think that makes me crazy, let them think I am nuts.

Making art and playing with kids is more fun than fighting, being angry, or living hurt all the time.

I will play games for the rest of my life, thank you.