I love who I am.

Even when I fall, cut myself, and look like a fool because I misjudged the distance, lost my balance, and went down anyway.

I do that a lot lately. I fall off balance emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

But today, I feel like I found my balance again. Even if I’m still wobbling. Even if I slip up a lot along the way.

The park across the river has a head statue that reminds me of Indian culture. I feel like one of their deities is connected to one of my goddesses. Maybe they communicate. Maybe they are different names for the same energy. Maybe I am still learning how to understand what I feel.

I gave a small offering of my blood to the head, and then a little to the special goddess at my house.

There is more I did, but some things are not meant to be shared here.

I hope my friend shows the video of me falling, because honestly, I can’t wait to become the bendy, balanced person I used to be as a child.

I have all this energy and confidence in a body other women are taught to hate. Meanwhile, I have a man by my side who may be broke, but he is beautiful, steady, and real. Other people see what they want to see. They assume we are living off benefits, but they have no idea we are getting nothing from anyone.

I have food stamps because people need to eat to live. Even science projects.

When we started making noise about living in a roach-infested environment, things beyond our control began to happen. Now, we are being moved somewhere beautiful, clean, and better suited for people healing from trauma.

The way people are really meant to heal.

I just wish the people doing the work had the right tools, so the people who don’t know better would stop getting hurt too.

I want to see everyone stop hurting. Not just me. Not just my friends. Everyone I meet, and everyone I never will.

I want to see the world become an amazing place because I can imagine it that way.

A place where hate ends. A place where people slowly evolve, understand one another, respect one another, live off the land, work together, and do everything with love in their hearts first.

I was never truly angry at the people who hurt me. Not for my whole life. It didn’t matter who did what to whom. I knew one thing for sure: when people are hurting, they often hurt someone else, even when they don’t understand what they are doing.

I was hurting my whole life until recently.

That means I know I hurt my kids, my family, and my friends too. But I also know I never did it out of anger, jealousy, or spite. I did it out of protection. I did it from what I thought was love.

Now I know what love really feels like.

It feels like dancing in the rain.

It feels like walking naked and free.

It feels like being exactly who you are, every minute of every day.

I look forward to seeing what happens in this next chapter, this next book, this next month, week, day, or year.

Life is full of possibilities.