I have always known and planned for a three part series in this book collection.

Book one was going to be the fight to get out of the pain I was living in. I didn’t know how much I was enduring until I went through everything. I knew what I had to give up when I left it. As you know when you get to the end.

I had to sacrifice a lot to get to a point where I could begin healing.
Once I started healing though, I didn’t actually feel safe until I met the one person who always had my back, and I always had theirs.

That was my ORIGINAL ride or die.

We ALL have one.
We don’t usually fall in love with them in the beginning of anything. They are that friend that no matter how life goes, they are the one person who is always there for you and has your back through everything. They know and understand every single one of your traumas without you ever having to explain a single one of them.

I have a lot of those friends.
I am so glad to have so damn many of those friends.

I know exactly why I remember that first trauma. I want to tell them so badly. It is not my place to make the connection or to share information like that to another person.

When you are in your trauma, you have to fight for the information you are lacking.
You may have to ask the same people a million times.
I am so very happy to know exactly what happened to make me who I am.
I know why I am the way I am.

Yes, I hated my parents. I hated my siblings. I hated every single person in my life who let me down because they lacked the tools they needed to save me at a time I needed saving when I was most vulnerable.

The thing is though, I also learned something more important than anything else in the world.

When you are in danger, you have two choices. You either keep quiet and gather as much evidence as possible to make sure there is no way anyone can deny anything without a shadow of a doubt. No matter how many lawyers, crooked policemen, politicians, and money men exist in the world can deny the truth.

…or…

Repeat the cycle. Let people keep hurting you, while you keep hurting someone else.

My ride or die made a pact when we were young. So young we promised our parents, or maybe our parents made the promise and we felt the desire to hold it true. We are going to be the ones who break the patterns. We will make the future generations proud of the world we leave behind us when we die.

Sure those king pins are around still. A lot of them are dying of whatever cancerous poison has them. They think they can do whatever they want and run this town.

What they don’t know is my generation is the one who gets to remember who we are all the way back into our infancy for the first time.

My first born witnessed my rape. I wish I could take that back. I am sure there was a whole lot more than that. The man was evil and beat the hell out of me. I did the best I could coming from the family I did. I have some pretty amazing adult kids. I would not change having them for anything in the world.

A while back, my baby forgave me for hurting them. I wish I could fully forgive myself for hurting everyone I hurt in my lifetime. I think this project is my version of that. I am trying to make up for all of the pain I caused by trying to help give voices to the people who never really had a way to express themselves.

When I was a kid, I asked my father for his life story. He never wanted to share it.

As an adult, I was able to put all of the pieces together and I know exactly why that is.

I look forward to sharing all this information with you after I finish writing book two.

Book two is going to be about all of the connections I made and how I did it. You might see it on the news or YouTube first because there are so many conspiracy theorists having a blast connecting things they have no idea about.

Book three will be written after a bit of living after I have fully healed.

The plan for book three is something about living in the present without being in fear or trying to make connections all the time.

Please, all of you out there; If anything happens know. I did my best to give you all a wonderful show.
I may look crazy, I may act crazy from time to time, I may even need meds to keep my head on straight.
No matter what anyone says, Being neurodivergent doesn’t have to be a death sentence. It just means your brain works way too fast and you need to take an extra minute to slow down. Yeah, there are people in the world who want to hurt you for their own reasons. There are people who are there to help you.

I am posting this on a delay. All of my posts going forward will be. Just like ALL submissions will be reviewed and posted, with a delay attached.
Once something goes live, I don’t feel like it is fair to make any major changes to the content.
I may change a few things around, make it look or behave better.
The blog, the messages, the overall feel will ALWAYS have the same value behind it.

Live with love in your heart and only good things will come.