I don’t usually take a day to simply rest and allow my nervous system to recover after a high-intensity situation. Normally I keep moving, keep working, and keep pushing forward.
Today I chose to do something different.
I decided to take advantage of the new focus settings I programmed into my Apple devices and allow myself a quiet day. Instead of reacting to everything around me, I allowed myself to slow down and just exist in my own space.
I watched the kids play outside.
I spent time regaining a sense of calm and control in my home.
I sat and quietly puttered around my apartment without any kind of tension or chaos hanging in the air.
It was peaceful in a way that felt unfamiliar, but deeply needed.
During the day I was also able to communicate with some incredible people. I shared a few important details about what has been happening recently, and together we expressed the same hope: that the man we both care about will eventually choose a path he can be proud of in the future.
I also had the chance to talk with my oldest child about a few things that mattered.
Overall, it was a surprisingly wonderful day.
One of the hardest but most important decisions I made recently was learning how to create space from someone without completely shutting the door forever. Finding a way to block the noise without escalating the situation has given me a sense of peace I didn’t realize I needed.
More than anything, today reminded me how grateful I am for the community I built when I left a place where I felt completely alone.
Here, I have surrounded myself with people who understand me and accept me exactly as I am. Flaws and all.
Looking back at the difficult choices I made along the way, I realize that every hard decision led me closer to this moment. Even though the path has included heartbreak and pain, I would still choose it again.
Because today, in the quiet, I could finally feel the strength of the life I built for myself.
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